SERAMPORE COLLEGE: Faculty of Theology
(Vesper’s Sharing)
~Lawrence S. Khawzawl, CODEX Editor
1. What is Etiquette? Why is it Important? Etiquette is a set of specific rules designed to ensure polite behaviour in a group or within a culture. When someone knows and follows the expected rules for behaviour, we say, that person has good etiquette or good manners. Part of being properly socialized within a culture is learning what that culture considers acceptable behaviour in dining, conversation, and attire or dress. Proper etiquette can vary from culture to culture, so it is important for foreigners, missionaries, and anyone hoping to reach across cultural lines to study the manners of that culture. It is also very much important for us, for the Theology student’s community like Serampore College where students from different cultures and traditions across India and its neighbouring countries are staying together under one roof. Also, it is important for the Christians in general and Christian leaders in particular who will be attending different conferences, meetings, councils, synods, assemblies in different places where they will be in contact with different cultures and traditions, customs and practices. Because of all these having good manners and etiquette is very important for all of us.
2. Biblical Based: The Bible gives some solid guidelines about
practicing etiquette and developing good manners. And the basic standard
for Christian behaviour is found in the 1st Letter of Paul to the
Corinthians, 1 Corinthians 10:31, where he says, “So
whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of
God.” When our goal is to honour the Lord in every way, we remain aware
that we represent Him everywhere we go. Whether sitting for dine/or food, having
conversation with others or the way we talk and the kind of
languages/words/phrases that we use, even the way we dress and everything that
we do, we can do so for the glory of God. When we carry the reputation of Jesus
with us, our behaviour affects the way others see Him. For one of God’s
servants to be perceived as rude and uncivilized would be dishonouring to the
Lord. Good etiquette is one way we can remove social barriers and create a
connection with people who need to hear the gospel.
3. Points where we need to develop a Good manners and
Etiquette: Let us remind
ourselves that no one is perfect, everyone has their own limits. Having said
so, we should also remember that good manners can be adopted by everyone
through practice and the determination to own it. We will be looking at three
areas where we can improve our manners- Dining Manners, Speech/ Language
Manners and Dress or Attire Manners.
(i)
Dining Manners: First, let us look at Dining manners or the
improvements that we need to consider at the Mess Hall or wherever we go for
dining.
Apostle Paul travelled across many cultures in
sharing the gospel and planting churches. He wrote that again in 1 Corinthians 9:22 “I have become
all things to all people, that I might by all means save some”. The idiom
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do” encapsulates that thought. Slurping soup in
one culture is thought rude, while in another it shows appreciation to the
cook. But in a mixed community like us we need to understand the diverse
cultures and practices and tries to follow good manners at all times. We should
always remember that Mess Hall is a public place where we all comes together
and shared one room. Therefore, keeping in mind that public gathering, first,
we should dress ourselves well or presentable to others. It is not respectable
or decent just to come to the public place for dining with our room’s attire or
sleeping dress. Let our dress be decent and respectable to all eyes. We should
not forget the diverse cultures that we holds and hence should put away our
home practices like- licking of hands and plates, slurping or drinking of soup
or gravy from the plates, drinking of water directly from the jug, talking loudly
with full mouth of food while eating, laughing out loud while eating, using
phones watching videos or talking to others, entering the kitchen and grapping
the food while the mess team are serving outside, snatching the spoon away from
the person who serve and taking food by our self, stealing others share of food
etc. are bad behaviour. We should always remember that our goal as Christians
is to give the least amount of personal offense by the way we behave within a
culture, while paving the way for the sharing of God’s truth.
(ii)
Speech/ Language Manners: Speech or
Language is another way we can either show proper etiquette or bring offense.
By Speech or Language Manners, we meant to say the kind of language of words
that we speak out. Ephesians 4:29 relates God’s expectation for spoken
communication: “Let no evil talk come out
of your mouths, but only what is useful
for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those
who hear.” We can offend by our words as easily as we can offend by our
actions, so learning culturally appropriate verbal skills is a part of having
good etiquette. As a Christians in general and Theology community in particular
who are trained to be the Ministers of the Church we should retrospect the kind
of words that we used in our daily life, whether it is gracious and seasoned
with salt or not. Our speech should give hope and comfort to others, therefore
calling others hopeless fellow, you fellow, better go and jump in the Hooghly
River and other offensive languages should be remove from our Vocabulary.
As believers in Jesus Christ, we have been
entrusted with the message of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:19), and we should deliver that message graciously,
with good manners: “Always be ready to
make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope
that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence.” (1 Peter 3:15, 16a). There is no excuse for
a Christians who are knowingly rude to others, especially during their
presentation of the gospel. Bad manners and poor etiquette are distractions to
the message we bear. The cross of Christ is naturally offensive to the unsaved
world (1 Corinthians 1:23). If an offense must
come, it should come from the message, not from the messenger.
(iii)
Attire/ Dress: The last point that we will be looking at is
Attire of Dress or simply the way we dress in particular to Worship services. As a Worshipping community, the way we
dress in the Worship places matters a lot. We should present decency in our
dress especially when we have to stand in front of others like for leading and
preaching, Bible reading, song leading or any items that we have to perform.
Wearing indoor attire like pyjamas, jogger pants, track pants, collarless
t-shirts with large and irrelevant text, sports jersey etc. should be avoided.
As a theology community and future ministers we should always present our self
with decency.
Conclusion: Etiquette is more than particular rules laid down by
stuffy people; etiquette is the oil that lubricates society and reduces the
friction of interpersonal relationships. When we view etiquette as a means by
which we earn the right to speak into people’s lives, we become more sensitive
to the way we present ourselves. We see our behaviours, from dining manners to
telling jokes, as instruments that either attract or distance others. Jesus is
our model. He came to earth and took on our dress, customs, and manners in
order to lead us to God (Philippians 2:5–8). As His followers, we should see etiquette as a way
to follow in His footsteps.
